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Let the Regular Season Begin

Salty Puckers (0-0-0) @ Yung Money (0-0-0) -> Sun Aug 21 2016 10:00 PM
Chicks With Sticks (0-0-0) @ Viop's Playmakers (0-0-0) -> Mon Aug 22 2016 9:00 PM
Chicks With Sticks (0-0-0) @ Yung Money (0-0-0) -> Tue Aug 23 2016 10:00 PM
Goat Milk (0-0-0) @ UNDERSTAND (0-0-0) -> Wed Aug 24 2016 10:30 PM - Reschedule
Viop's Playmakers (0-0-0) @ Salty Puckers (0-0-0) -> Sun Aug 28 2016 9:00 PM
Yung Money (0-0-0) @ UNDERSTAND (0-0-0) -> Sun Aug 28 2016 10:00 PM
Goat Milk (0-0-0) @ Chicks With Sticks (0-0-0) -> Mon Aug 29 2016 10:00 PM
UNDERSTAND (0-0-0) @ Chicks With Sticks (0-0-0) -> Tue Aug 30 2016 10:00 PM
Goat Milk (0-0-0) @ Yung Money (0-0-0) -> Wed Aug 31 2016 10:00 PM
Salty Puckers (0-0-0) @ Chicks With Sticks (0-0-0) -> Thu Sep 1 2016 10:00 PM
Goat Milk (0-0-0) @ Salty Puckers (0-0-0) -> Mon Sep 5 2016 10:00 PM
ĽUNDERSTAND (0-2-0) @ Viop's Playmakers (1-1-0) -> Tue Sep 6 2016 10:00 PM - Reschedule
Viop's Playmakers (0-0-0) @ Goat Milk (0-0-0) -> Wed Sep 7 2016 9:00 PM
Salty Puckers (0-0-0) @ UNDERSTAND (0-0-0) -> Thu Sep 8 2016 11:00 PM
Viop's Playmakers (0-0-0) @ Yung Money (0-0-0) -> Sun Sep 11 2016 9:00 PM
UNDERSTAND (0-0-0) @ Goat Milk (0-0-0) -> Mon Sep 12 2016 10:00 PM
Viop's Playmakers (0-0-0) @ Chicks With Sticks (0-0-0) -> Tue Sep 13 2016 9:00 PM

(Updated 8/19 10 PM)

UND @ VIOP was rescheduled since it was originally scheduled in the middle of a holiday weekend.
Steve Cheese - Wed, Aug 17, 2016 - 19:12:43

UNDERSTAND clobbered by Chicks with Sticks

1st 2nd 3rd Final
Chicks With Sticks 2 7 2 11
UNDERSTAND 1 0 0 1
Total game time: 30:22

Starting the season off 0-3 Chicks with Sticks came out looking to get a win. The second game of the season for UNDERSTAND and they were looking for the same. Unfortunately Chicks with Sticks had a serious case of Pre-Menstrual-Stick syndrome (PMS) going on and would just dominate the game from the drop of the puck. Former CWS team member JDMSpoon was the lone tally for UNDERSTAND.

Game Summary

1st period
1:25 Chicks With Sticks goal by d money Assists: buck cat, Doobie
3:29 Chicks With Sticks goal by buck cat Assists: Doobie, memorize
7:29 UNDERSTAND goal by JDMSpooN Assists: The Concept of Love, Hawley-Smoot

2nd period
2:02 Chicks With Sticks goal by Doobie
5:43 Chicks With Sticks goal by Doobie Assists: d money, ku1a
6:18 Chicks With Sticks goal by d money Assists: Doobie, buck cat
7:21 Chicks With Sticks goal by d money Assists: Doobie, buck cat
8:11 Chicks With Sticks goal by Doobie Assists: d money, buck cat
9:51 Penalty on Nax (UNDERSTAND). 2:00 for First DC.
11:19 Chicks With Sticks goal by d money Assists: Doobie, buck cat
11:19 Penalty over: Nax
11:37 Chicks With Sticks goal by Doobie Assists: buck cat, Arcadian

3rd period
2:59 Chicks With Sticks goal by ku1a
6:22 Chicks With Sticks goal by ku1a Assists: buck cat, NCVinyl

Win for team old balls!

1st 2nd 3rd Final
UNDERSTAND 0 0 3 3
Goat Milk 1 2 3 6
Total game time: 36:00

Game Summary

1st period
9:23 Goat Milk goal by Rage Assists: Lawn Dwarf, Steve Cheese

2nd period
5:41 Goat Milk goal by Lawn Dwarf
7:38 Goat Milk goal by Zayb Assists: Lawn Dwarf, Rage

3rd period
2:44 UNDERSTAND goal by JDMSpooN Assists: Hawley-Smoot, m1ch
4:52 Goat Milk goal by Thrill Assists: Lawn Dwarf, Rage
6:32 Goat Milk goal by Thrill Assists: Lawn Dwarf, Rage
6:49 Goat Milk goal by Thrill
7:28 UNDERSTAND goal by Janky- Assists: JDMSpooN
7:34 UNDERSTAND goal by JDMSpooN

Salty Puckers takes it in Overtime

1st 2nd 3rd 1st OT Final
Salty Puckers 3 1 1 1 6
Viop's Playmakers 0 3 2 0 5
Total game time: 43:59

The first period was the Mace23 show as he got a hat trick leading to a 3-0 lead for jalrix's Salty Puckers. Mace23 would celebrate his hatty by spawning to start the second period resulting in a chance to eat a McChicken in the box.

Zanaz came out like a wrecking ball in the 2nd period helping to bring Viop's playmakers back into the game. The period ended with Salty Puckers up 4 to 3. The 3rd period brought about a seesaw battle with Bopmem2 cashing in on a hat trick himself and the game tying goal forcing overtime. Overtime brought about some guy named Phil Holes burying a shot to give Salty Puckers the win.

Game Summary

1st period
3:10 Salty Puckers goal by Mace23 Assists: cocain
9:32 Salty Puckers goal by Mace23
9:49 Salty Puckers goal by Mace23 Assists: wiibimbo

2nd period
1:59 Penalty on Mace23 (Salty Puckers). 2:00 for First Spawn.
3:59 Penalty over: Mace23
4:19 Viop's Playmakers goal by Zanaz Assists: Zeppelin-, Bopmem2
4:44 Viop's Playmakers goal by Bopmem2 Assists: Zanaz, Sting
6:50 Salty Puckers goal by Phil Holes Assists: Mace23, Pity.
9:43 Viop's Playmakers goal by Zanaz

3rd period
2:42 Salty Puckers goal by Artos Assists: Phil Holes, Pity.
7:28 Viop's Playmakers goal by Bopmem2 Assists: Zanaz, Zeppelin-
7:57 Viop's Playmakers goal by Bopmem2

4th period
7:59 Salty Puckers goal by Phil Holes Assists: IGGY, jalrix

Yung Money curb stomps UNDERSTAND

1st 2nd 3rd Final
UNDERSTAND 1 1 0 2
Yung Money 4 2 0 6
Total game time: 36:00

The first 6 minutes of the game Yung Money took it to UNDERSTAND and talk of a 10-0 mercy could be heard among conversation of spectators. The team captain took a strategic timeout after the 4th goal and his team appeared to settle down and play hockey but the damage was already done.

Yung Money looked pretty solid while UNDERSTAND continues to search for answers.

Game Summary

1st period
2:31 Yung Money goal by Acido
3:58 Yung Money goal by Kozzy Assists: AfrIcAn PaNdA, Acido
5:21 Yung Money goal by AfrIcAn PaNdA
5:39 Yung Money goal by Kozzy Assists: KoR
8:49 UNDERSTAND goal by kai- Assists: Hawley-Smoot, JDMSpooN

2nd period
6:04 UNDERSTAND goal by JDMSpooN
8:55 Yung Money goal by t$z Assists: puker, Acido
9:20 Yung Money goal by t$z Assists: puker, 2pacz

Chicks with Sticks Drown in Goat Milk

1st 2nd 3rd Final
Chicks With Sticks 0 3 0 3
Goat Milk 3 3 3 9
Total game time: 36:00

Goat Milk puts on a dominating performance showing excellent team work throughout the entire game. Goat Milk's stellar game play should bring fear to the other teams in the league. Chicks with Sticks tried to keep it a game but when every shot Goat Milk took resulted in a goal clean there was no hope. The Boogieman was a no show and Cereal n' Milk owes BananaSquadron69 a goal when Salty Puckers takes on CWS.

I had an entire report typed out but failed to put a category and got an error so now I am typing this.

GOM @ YM postponed

The match between Yung Money and Goat Milk on Wed Aug 31 2016 10:00 PM is postponed.
Steve Cheese - Mon, Aug 29, 2016 - 16:20:03

Week 1 Waivers

Week 1 Waiver Pickups:
Chicks with Sticks: Buck Cat (+7)
UNDERSTAND (via trade): Stryke (+5 to VIO)
Viop's Playmakirs (via trade): Flew (+2 to UND)


Week 2 Waivers include:
Regiments
Malstryx

Waiver standings as of Friday, Aug 26
(not including Sunday's games):
Goat Milk: 7
Salty Puckers: 7
Yung Money: 7
UNDERSTAND: 8
Chicks with Sticks: 8
Viop's Playmakirs: 10

League standings are used if a tiebreaker is needed -- original waiver order is used if those tiebreakers fail. I will aim to process waivers before Sunday, but might be delayed during my vacation.
Goldeye - Mon, Aug 29, 2016 - 15:36:21

YM wins

Final
Yung Money 4
Salty Puckers 2
Total game time: 0:00

HIGHLIGHTS:
>This was a goalie showdown between slim reaper and CNM.

>the main story line of the game was phil holes showing up and playing wzl for SAP. it was unfortunate to see him soak up 3 periods of complete trash play and watch wiibimbo (who lead the league in goals during preseason) sit on the bench and get 1p in terr. he had some nice looks and would have probably scored those shots if he was in wzl.

>YM dominated the first period when david seaman was in the lineup. he controlled the middle of the field with ease and claimed he was on auto pilot the majority of the match. his trade value will likely skyrocket after these types of performances.

>thrill did some nice commentary on twitch. go check it out

>still waiting for bm2's appeal for the game. he requested a ref off the gj freq that i respekfully declined. still love u my friendly vegan.

Trade #3: UND / VIO

UND receives:
Kai-
Hawley-Smoot
Control of VIO's next waiver claim.

VIO receives:
Zanaz
vigilanty
Control of UND's next waiver claim.


The waiver trades are complicated. The team receiving the claim gets to make the choice and gets the player, but the claim counts against the team giving it away.
They must make claim someone if available, to avoid shenanigans.
Goldeye - Mon, Aug 22, 2016 - 16:06:01

YM wins first game of the season!

YM 4
SAP 2

** GAME ENDED BY NCVinyl+
*******************************************************************************************************
* GAME 0 TOTAL STATS
: RATING IT RPM GO AS +- SH TST TTO TCH TCD PC PT GT SV GA
...
: Cereal n' Mi 120.1 35:59 3.34 0 0 -1 0 34 5 5 0 39 0:37 35:49 25 3
: Mace23 41.7 36:00 1.16 1 1 -2 6 18 28 23 10 70 1:34 0:00 0 0
: jalrix 36.6 24:00 1.52 1 1 -1 7 17 21 3 41 74 3:28 0:00 0 0
: Phil Holes 28.6 36:00 0.79 0 1 -2 3 26 36 14 9 85 2:33 0:00 0 0
: cocain 25.8 24:00 1.07 0 0 -3 2 20 21 18 15 47 1:26 0:00 0 0
: Artos 14.1 24:00 0.59 0 0 -3 0 16 14 6 6 38 0:37 0:00 0 0
: wiibimbo 0.7 12:00 0.06 0 0 1 4 1 5 1 8 15 0:19 0:00 0 0
: IGGY -2.4 24:00 -0.10 0 0 0 0 10 16 5 22 40 0:49 0:00 0 0
: @@@@ TOTALS 265.2 ---- ---- 2 3 --- 22 142 146 75 111 408 11:23 35:49 25 3
...
: Slim Reaper 101.2 36:00 2.81 0 1 2 0 26 3 3 0 31 0:44 36:00 19 2
: Acido 69.9 31:57 2.19 1 2 1 7 34 34 20 17 95 2:49 0:00 0 0
: t$z 58.0 28:02 2.07 2 1 1 12 18 29 8 10 105 3:24 0:00 0 0
: KoR 44.3 24:00 1.85 1 1 1 3 11 14 24 8 42 1:14 0:00 0 0
: David Seaman 41.5 19:57 2.08 0 1 2 1 15 4 14 2 38 0:48 0:00 0 0
: V-FleX 34.6 28:02 1.23 0 0 1 1 8 3 27 0 23 0:28 0:00 0 0
: puker 12.1 24:00 0.50 0 1 1 3 18 26 6 9 72 0:51 0:00 0 0
: AfrIcAn PaNd 4.8 24:00 0.20 0 0 3 2 16 29 9 29 81 2:38 0:00 0 0
: @@@@ TOTALS
*******************************************************************************************************
Most Rating per Minute (3.34): Cereal n' Milk
Most Goals (2): t$z
Most Assists (2): Acido
Most +/- (3): AfrIcAn PaNdA
Most Shots (12): t$z
Most Steals (34): Acido
Most Turnovers (36): Phil Holes
Most Total Checks (27): V-FleX
Most Saves (25): Cereal n' Milk
Most Goals Allowed (3): Cereal n' Milk
Highest Rated Player (120.1): Cereal n' Milk

Season 24 Preseason Schedule

Viop's Playmakers (0-0-0) @ UNDERSTAND (0-0-0) -> Sun Jul 31 2016 10:00 PM
Goat Milk (0-0-0) @ Chicks With Sticks (0-0-0) -> Mon Aug 1 2016 10:00 PM
Yung Money (0-0-0) @ Salty Puckers (0-0-0) -> Tue Aug 2 2016 10:00 PM
Viop's Playmakers (0-0-0) @ Goat Milk (0-0-0) -> Wed Aug 3 2016 9:00 PM
Salty Puckers (0-0-0) @ UNDERSTAND (0-0-0) -> Thu Aug 4 2016 10:00 PM<
Chicks With Sticks (0-0-0) @ Viop's Playmakers (0-0-0) -> Sun Aug 7 2016 9:00 PM
UNDERSTAND (0-0-0) @ Yung Money (0-0-0) -> Sun Aug 7 2016 10:00 PM
Chicks With Sticks (0-0-0) @ Yung Money (0-0-0) -> Tue Aug 9 2016 10:00 PM
Goat Milk (0-0-0) @ Salty Puckers (0-0-0) -> Wed Aug 10 2016 10:00 PM

Yung Money (2-0-0) @ Viop's Playmakers (1-1-0) -> Sun Aug 14 2016 9:00 PM Moved from 10 PM
Salty Puckers (0-2-0) @ Chicks With Sticks (2-0-0) -> Mon Aug 15 2016 10:00 PM
UNDERSTAND (1-1-0) @ Goat Milk (0-2-0) -> Mon Aug 15 2016 11:00 PM

NOTE: Latecomers can sign up here.
Steve Cheese - Tue, Jul 26, 2016 - 22:42:51

GOAT MILK gets first win of the pre-season

1st 2nd 3rd Final
Goat Milk 1 3 3 7
UNDERSTAND 2 0 0 2
Total game time: 36:00

Last game of the preseason!

>YM are officially declared preseason champs.

>Goat Milk finally gets a win and is starting to get into form for the regular season.

>Lawn Scarf had 7 points. Goat Milk had 7 goals total. BALLA

---PRE-SEASON STANDOUTS and AWARDS---
Awards



WE HAVE A TIE? REALLY?

1st 2nd 3rd Final
Chicks With Sticks 1 1 1 3
Salty Puckers 0 2 1 3
Total game time: 36:00

>Bananasquadron showed up. Actually all of CWS showed up except for Juvi.

>CNM had the best night and carried SaP with an outstanding goalie performance. 25 saves 3 goals allowed.

>Boogie 12 saves 2 goals allowed. Boogie has a 87% sv percentage so far this pre-season. CWS hopes for this to continue into the regular season.

>Trade offers are heating up again. Now that I have access to captain forums I'm not allowed to speak about trades as your RSHL reporter anymore. Sorry for that. I will post my thoughts when trades do happen on future game reports.

>Bop had another good game for CWS. 2 goals in 24 minutes and a solid defensive effort.


WII f-ing BIMBO

1st 2nd 3rd Final
Salty Puckers 2 2 3 7
Goat Milk 2 2 0 4
Total game time: 36:00

WII BIMBO three star had another hat-trick this game!

GOM has yet to find a win this pre-season.

t$z just remooof'd me from scrim even tho i switched my team to give him another player. what a f@#$^@#$^. (pretty sure he broke a cardinal rule here)

memo won't re-add me back to the team. what a f!#$^!#$^.

Puker leads YM to victory!

1st 2nd 3rd Final
Yung Money 3 1 2 6
Chicks With Sticks 2 0 2 4
Total game time: 36:00

Close game all around. Back and forth action. YM was able to pull away late with a wall shot from puker.

2pacz has been a solid backup and received some nice playing time this game. They are hoping to develop him in the goalie position. Look out for him to flourish under the guidance of bm2.

CWS are still shopping around their own roster for a WB presence. Arcadian gave it a try and showed us the potential the team has with good WB play. It's unlikely he will remain their WB due to his dominant play with the levi. Memo's up next! <3

YM move to 3-0 and are in the drivers seat for pre-season champions.

CWS drop to 2-1

Waivers Pickups

Waivers were conducted with a ridiculously complicated process agreed on in capts forum to try to ensure more valuable picks "cost" more.

Chicks with Sticks: Bopmem2
Goat Milk: Lawn Dwarf
Salty Puckers: Phil Holes, Zero Seven, Pity
UNDERSTAND: Funk E, Dark Messenger, little buddha
Viop's Playmakirs: Zyzz, King-
Yung Money: Acido, Kozzy

Edit for the obsessive fans, here's the pick order
Lawn Dwarf
Phil Holes
Acido
Funk E
Bopmem2
Zyzz
Dark Messenger
King
Kozzy
Zero Seven
little buddha
Pity.

Waiver priority (lowest score gets priority):
Chicks with Sticks (3)
Viop's Playmakirs (4)
Yung Money (5)
Goat Milk (6)
UNDERSTAND (7)
Salty Puckers (8)
Goldeye - Mon, Aug 8, 2016 - 18:31:55

YM wins again!

1st 2nd 3rd Final
Yung Money 0 0 2 2
UNDERSTAND 0 0 1 1
Total game time: 36:00

BM2 took the night off to touch up on his anatomy of common sense. For those not insiders, it was Thrill vs Batman2 on captain chat regarding the gay gene.

BM2 let 2PACz run the back end on YM this game. It ended up working out as YM became victorious. This is good news for YM to have a solid backup and potential starter. It also helps to have the best defensive mid in the game (David Seaman).

Trade talk has died down after tonight's performance. BM2 is not likely to part ways with someone like d.Seam. A big offer would have to land on his plate for him to bite. I was also informed that Leafy is not a player bm2 is interested in. So it would appear the Leafy+D.Seam combo may not happen. It will be interesting to see how d.seam handles this situation. Will he continue to suit up and DOMINATE? Or will he hold out during regular season? He is too valuable for the latter.

UND had a good showing. zTrain (zanaz)continues to be the star. They move to 1-2 on the season.

BOOGIEMAN continues his hawt streak.

1st 2nd Turd Final
VIOP 1 1 0 2
Chicks With Sticks 0 1 5 6
Total game time: 36:00

Key Points:

> d money showed up

> goldeye sets world record with 80 turnovers in two games. Although he did light it up late and had an epic save:


> kula sighting

> boogieman continues his hawt streak with 39 saves and 2 goals allowed in 2 games. 2 goals in this game came from bad play by NCVinyl on the D. (He loves the D)

> lilwade is still MIA

> nanasquadron forfeits his signing bonus to charity by missing this game

>Racka continues to impress

VIOP finishes their pre-season at 2-1 while CWS advance to 2-0 with one game remaining against an undefeated YM team. So far the draft system has been a success. Most games have been decided by 3 or less and have all been competitive throughout.


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